Poems of Philip

This morning I spent a lot of time out with the shining Sun.

And finally it’s time to say bye.

I welcomed darkness with a cup of coffee.

It’s warm vapour fought cold inside me.

I heard the coffee shop guy whispering some old hymn in a varying tone .

And My body started vibrating when the cool breeze carrying cold and love embraced me.

My whole body enjoyed it, but…..

I noticed that my eyes was running here and there

Maybe searching someone who isn’t there.

Slowly those pieces of memories joined together.

All my senses maybe more than that started to have same feeling.

These shameless sensors of mine is looking for that girl again.

Yeah ! You are right.. I want to know…

More than that stupid curiosity to find her again my heart is full of some sort of eagerness…

Or anxiety…

What happened to her these days?

We had many cup of coffees together.
Sitting in opposite tables to be precise.

She never threw a smile at me… Not even a glance on my face…

I am none to her, yes I agree.
And also She is none to me …

Though her absence these days took my peace away.

She was short as her attitude.

And Rich as much as she is chubby.

Her left eyebrow was pierced with studs.

Her lips was dark as a night without moon.

Deserted dry eyes was always half opened.

Her shoes was tied up tight as if it is stuck.

She had a careless hairstyle.
Have she ever combed it properly?
It was always messed up just like her life.

Fate gifted her something she won’t be able to fit in with.

I never got a chance to hear from her.

Her lips never opened except for cigars.

It’s smoke covered her sight as a refuge,

And it successfully made a wall between us…
Is that she always wanted?

I never had a talk with her but…

Now her figure is damn familiar with me.

I used to smile at her .
What was I even thinking?
Hoping for a friendship?
Ah! Maybe I wished that I may get strange friend with some strange feelings.

Lost in my memories, that cool breeze continued to strike at me.
As if it want me to look away…
So that I won’t see that girl with a red cardigan sitting on the spot she used to sit….

Evenings passed.
I had many coffees all alone.
This and that always reminded me she isn’t there anymore.
I looked for her Though I knew I will never meet her again.
She vanished away without leaving any traces…

Until that day I was really confused .
I had hundreds of questions passing through myself.

But that day , when I was taking a short break from my work ,in front of my office ..
In middle of the day when I was simply staring through vehicles passed in front of me,
I saw her Face.
Looking bit more messy than it used to be…

What???
I was stuck for a moment…
She is looking this way …
None is there except me..
Yeah she is looking at me…
I’m supposed to be happy.
But I couldn’t.
Her eyes, I felt like it is screaming loud in its own language…
How can someone’s eyes can be this sad?
What was it telling?
Is that because her life got worse?
Is that because she couldn’t chose me ?
Is that because though she wanted to run over to my side she couldn’t do that???

Seeing her again didn’t sorted my thoughts out…
Now I think about her more than usual….

Now I look for her more desperately…
Maybe not for a strange friendship but to be there for her….

I wish one day I meet her again

At that sunshine, the first light of the day
Took birth on my cheeks and
It was conquering my eyes
But I hesitate to woke up
Because I was unable to enjoy one more day

But, but my stomach kicked me
Out of my bed, it was too much hungry.
I was disappointed, because
As usual that day also I achieved
The position of the most suitable
Example for starvation

But it was more hard that
I was starve for affection

My legs lead me out of my hut,
And I noticed a bud in midst of thorns ,
It gave me a smile
Tomorrow it will become a rose which is
Free from scandals

But I struggled to gave
A warm replay because I knew
Tomorrow it will be plucked

That enchanting white rose bud
Was a drawn picture of mine, my figure and my life

Tomorrow she is going to be
Sundered and isolated from her mother
And a future which is completely without
Her parents who waiting for her

Tomorrow it would be like me
No one to care, no one to listen
And no one to love

No, I will never let to pluck that
Growing life, that growing future
That enchanting marvelous white rose.

Tomorrow I will become the
Guard of her future
And I will never allow anyone to
Be like me as an orphan

I can’t pay my heart once again

Wherever I go I heard
About ‘beloved ones’ and ‘love’
I heard many of my friends saying
They are and they were in love
I am wondering because I hadn’t ever experienced
Such a thing called love

I was unknown about love
But you, only you defined
The term LOVE to me
And you taught me ‘how to love’!

And I began to write…
Yes, I wrote ‘the chapter of LOVE’ in my life
It gained a growth from love
With my parents,
To love with my pets and peers

Each second whom I enjoyed ‘LOVE’
I was proud in you and pride in you

The fentabulace word of LOVE was unexceptionable for me
I remember the day you summoned me
And presented a speechless gap

One day You teared out the silence by saying
“There is something which can demolish
The illustrious king of feelings – LOVE”

I wished not to hear about
Something which is more powerful than LOVE
But you described it,
You repeated the term ‘HATE me’

It was so hard to love ‘HATE’
But you compelled me to HATE you
And not to LOVE you

You make me know LOVE & HATE
You taught me that the simplest dialogue is
‘I LOVE YOU’ which the world ever heard…
But the much suffering and each one’s
Most difficult thing is to declare
‘I HATE YOU’

I don’t know when I fall in love with her
I know her power, and she is
Ideal in all my ways

I know her voice, beauty and
Heat of her heart,
Her body was like the great butter flow and
Her colour, better than
Any strings of red scarlet

Sometimes her voice made me so much
Happy and fun, but
Sometimes it makes me cry, and
Suffered so much to hear it

I don’t know how I love her when
She without her voice
I took her in my hands, and somebody said
Take the bow and have her enchanting lips!

When I laid in her waist with an
Astonish full mind
When I touched her lips with a bow,
She started to sing, whispered
And told me wonderful stories

She was with Wallace Hartley in The great Titanic
She made wonders in many ears
She told me that she can make me high!

I spend many years with her,
And I tried to know the meaning of her
Irritating sad voice and the great fun sound
I never got anything.

Now I know one thing, I can to be
Nearer to her and share all feelings.
Narrating her feelings is out of words
And I am nothing in front of her.

I took many years to know that
I love her with all my soul, and now
I am in deep love with
My sweet sweet sweet VIOLIN!!!

I had woken up early on that morning
Sun was on the head
It’s like fall in love with north east
Nowadays he comes early, but not bright

The sky was always cloudy and dim
It was difficult to get the rhythm of nature
Always look like tearful and wet
Crying with her beloveds

Loneliness kicked me out of my shelter and
I walked out to a tea shop
To meet someone else and to
Know why the nature crying always

Faces sitting there made me know that
The nature vents all their emotions
They all need some light and Sunny days
To dry their kerchief wet with tears

One young beauty came out and
I ordered a hot lemon tea to kill cold
She came out with a cup of tea
At the end of my waiting for her return

Her skin was pale like her heart
She was wearing a Scarlet sweater
Exactly like her smiling red lips
And Hands was empty like her pocket

Her talents, smile and beauty
Nepali glowing stone was her eyes
Nothing was able to stop her
parent birds flew away forever

She walked to me and murmured that
Do you want to drink a real hot tea?
That teen voice disturbed my peace and
I shocked for a second, sounds so sad

It wasn’t a mad bull or a wrong life
Just she wants to escape from all,
To fly away out of this deep jungle
And never want to come back

Her hopeful eyes hooked me deeply.
Hey, keep your eyes away from me
For they have overcome me,
I ran out to hide myself

I can’t take her with me because
Falcon birds are refuges only
Feel it and should leave all again
The real Helpless Falcon travelling birds

Still after flying back to my land,
That Nepali bird flying in my memories
On some raining dark mornings
Who offered me a hot lemon tea

My wings were not stronger to carry her,
It still hunting my brain that
What may happen to that little fly?
In that wild raining darkness